The Boy Who Lost His Arm

One common tool to be happy people is that they often define their own reality.

Read this story of the boy who lost his arm, for an example :

A young man who was exceptionally happy walked into a school
I spent some time at in Jerusalem.
The teacher, upon noticing the young man’s cheerful personality,
asked him what the source of his happiness was.

“When I was nine years old, God gave me the gift of happiness.” he said.
“What do you mean?” asked the teacher, his curiosity piqued.
“When I was nine, I was riding my bike when a truck ran me over
and severed my arm. Later, in the hospital, my whole family sat crying
and consumed with depression."
‘You’re going to have to get used to this,’ I said.
‘Us?! You’re the one who’s got to get used to it!’ they said.
‘No. I’m already used to it. I’m happy for what I’ve got.’
“You see, when I saw my arm separated from the rest of my body
I got immediately depressed. Then I said to myself, this isn’t doing me any good.
I decided right then that I am happy for what I’ve got.”

The boy in this story did not ignore reality.
He did not change reality.
All he did was define reality for himself.

Don’t compare your happiness to others
(if that decreases your happiness.)

Why? Because sometimes they’re not really happy.
The pictures in the magazines of celebrities spending loads of money
and smiling or laughing are an illusion.
They aren’t always smiling; often they are miserable,
addicted to drugs, or going through their fourth divorce.
Being wealthy and famous is a burden and a danger.
You may need to protect yourself, like Caterine Zeta-Jones,
from a crazy infatuated fan who wants to assassinate your spouse,
or from a kidnapper who may ransom your children like Frank Sinatra
and David Letterman.

Learn From Others

Just as we can learn from the celebrities that
wealth and fame DON’T guarantee happiness,
similarly we can learn from people that are truly happy,
a focus or attitude has been of true help to them.

When you define your own reality, that doesn’t mean you don’t learn from others.
We can, should, and must learn happiness tools and techniques from others.
One common tool is that happy people often define their own reality.